Meltdown

I have been having meltdowns lately. It is another week of stress and anxiety and I am letting it get in the way of my workouts. I tried to workout on Monday - well I did workout on the weight machines for about a half and hour but I just wanted to get out of there. I kept thinking about all I had to do for my classes and another problem (husband being taken back to court by his ex-wife over some stupid BS) I am having. Too much on my mind and all I want to do is just BE.

Monday, as far as exercising goes, ended up being OK because I went back to the gym with some friends later in the day and I did about twenty plus minutes on the treadmill. I just ate way too much on Monday. It feels like I can't win. I have noticed the more I exercise the more I want to eat. What's up with that? Maybe I shouldn't worry about it too much because I have been losing weight, although not as fast as I would like.

Today I didn't go to the gym because my workout buddy wasn't going. I am perfectly able to go by myself, I just blew it off. I had hopes of getting some homework done but of course I blew that off too. The more stressed and anxious I become the less I want to do. I just want to say forget about it and stay at home and sleep. I hide! That is not good.

I need to overcome this I just don't know what to do. My energy level is so low that I can't just power through all this negativity. I need some damn energy so I can power through all my the papers I have to write. Where is all this energy you are supposed to have from working out? I never feel it - even when I went to the gym three times a week. I sometimes get a short burst of energy but nothing major.

I am banging my head against the wall with this. Why do I let stuff get to me? Why do I let stuff get in the way  of doing something that is good for me?